Kohler Wants to Put a Tiny Camera in Your Toilet and Analyze the Contents

Certain smart litter boxes can monitor our pets’ habits and health, so putting a camera in our toilet bowls seems inevitable in retrospect. That’s just what kitchen and bathroom fixture company Kohler has done for its new health and wellness brand, Kohler Health. 

The $599 Dekoda clamps over the rim like a toilet bowl cleaner, pointing an optical sensor at your excretions and secretions. It then analyzes the images to detect any blood, as well as analyze your gut health and hydration status. There’s a subscription fee of between $70 and $156 per year, depending the plan you choose.

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At toilet time, you sign in via a fingerprint sensor so that the device knows who’s using the facilities. (Please wash your hands before signing out or tracking your progress.) Then, check in with the app for the day’s analysis and trends over time. Wait until you’re off the pot, though, before you start doomscrolling your health. The device has a removable, rechargeable battery and uses a USB connection. 

Kohler says it secures your data via the aforementioned fingerprint scanner and end-to-end encryption, and notes that the camera uses “discreet optics,” looking only at the results, not your body parts. 

“Dekoda’s sensors see down into your toilet and nowhere else,” the company says. 

Kohler warns that the technology doesn’t work very well with dark toilet colors, which makes sense. I’m sure there could be an upsell model with a light on it. Maybe the company could add an olfactory sensor (smell reveals a lot about your gut health, too). It could track “session” length, or track buildup under the rim to alert whoever’s responsibility it is to clean it.

Kohler must have been straining to find appropriate lifestyle photos to include with the publicity materials, because a lot of the images are hilarious images of fit-looking men and women drinking water and staring off into space contemplatively. Probably thinking about gas.